My Story

My Story: Finding My Way Back to Me

When I first arrived in this country at the age of ten in 1990, I didn’t speak a single word of English. Slowly and surely, I taught myself the language through books—reading horror and historical novels that each taught me English in their own unique way. Through those pages, I discovered a lifelong passion for writing and poetry.

The Years of Caregiving and Identity Loss

At 18, my life shifted down an entirely different path. My mother suffered a stroke, and with no siblings or immediate family nearby, I became her sole, unpaid carer.

For the next 24 years—until I was 42—my world revolved entirely around her. At 29, I even donated my kidney to my mother. My jobs, my choices, and my relationships were all shaped by her condition and needs. Behind the scenes, I became intimately familiar with the immense physical and emotional weight of being an unpaid carer: navigating the medical world alongside doctors, nurses, and therapists, navigating the complexities of the benefits system, and constantly battling societal biases.

During those decades, my core identity was completely eroded. Subconsciously, I stopped being me. I was labelled as "carer" and "my mum’s daughter," the carer, the donor, the unemployed. My personal value became entirely integrated with her needs.

The Darkness and the Turning Point

In April 2022, my mother passed away. Just a few months later, in November 2022, my father passed away as well.

Suddenly, the anchors of my entire life were gone. With no close emotional support system around me, I felt entirely lost and invisible. At my mother’s first anniversary in April 2023, the weight of the grief caught up with me, and deep depression took hold. That depression, combined with severe isolation, triggered social anxiety. Fear and loss made me shut down completely, distance myself from everyone, and retreat into a dark inner world.

I realised I was 42, living on Universal Credit, and had no idea who I was outside of my circumstances. What were my actual likes and dislikes when stripped of my labels? I had to restart learning about myself from the exact place I left off at age 18.

Rebuilding from the Ashes

Change didn't happen overnight. In 2025, through my therapist, I was referred to a specialised support programme for people struggling just like me. We all carried our own unique darkness and "hurt," but what united us was that we each had dormant dreams buried inside, waiting to be brought to life.

I started taking online courses. I learned how to build a website, explore affiliate marketing, dropshipping, and digital products. To reconnect with my roots, I started writing blogs and expressing myself through poetry once again. I even ventured into new creative territory—fusing poetry and AI to produce music, including my songs One Sweet Kiss and Shades of You (more to come), which are now streaming on Spotify and similar platforms. To support my creative growth, I taught myself video editing from scratch.

It was a slow, deliberate process, but with time, practice, and a lot of inner work, my confidence began to grow.

Why I Am Here For You

My mentor from the programme suggested I turn my life experience into consulting. At first, I hesitated. Who am I to help others? I asked myself. But after deeply reflecting on my history, my struggles, and everything I’ve learned, I realised I do have something meaningful to offer.

I am not here to claim I have everything figured out. I am still a work in progress, constantly learning and stopping to recalibrate when I need to.

What I do know is how it feels to start completely from zero after 40. I know what it’s like to navigate grief, depression, social anxiety, and deep financial strain while feeling entirely unsupported. I know how painful it is to realise you are on the wrong path and need to reinvent your trajectory to find true financial freedom, step off Universal Credit, and reclaim your life.

My vision for DeKove is to build a life of absolute freedom, and I want the same peace of mind and autonomy for you.

Your Safe Space

DeKove is more than just a website or a brand—it is a human connection. It is a judgment-free door that allows you to explore who you are and where you want to be without preconceived ideas.

Whether you are struggling with your identity, trapped by societal labels, weighed down by debt, or simply unhappy on your current path, there is no "one size fits all" road to recovery. We all walk our own personal paths.

My vision is to walk beside you as a peer and a guide—not rushing you, not setting rigid targets, but helping you discover yourself beneath the limitations, whether self-made or external.

If you have read this far, why not take a chance and reach out? You have nothing to lose, and a whole life to gain. Let’s take that first small step together.